Addie’s Story
Addie, Christian, Generation Lyme Volunteer & College Graduate
As early as age eight, I didn’t have the vocabulary to explain ‘vertigo, anxiety, brain fog, migraines, tinnitus, suicidal ideation, or incontinence.’ Although I had a Lyme disease diagnosis, all of the adults I trusted—including a plethora of doctors—rationalized my symptoms away. I began to believe that it was normal to feel sick every day, and that this was just how everyone else experienced life as well.
The belief that I was a moral failure because I couldn’t just ‘tough it out’ festered and culminated in a suicide attempt at age seventeen. No one outside of my immediate family even knew that I was depressed. It wasn’t until I started collapsing multiple times a day and using mobility aids during college that I realized that trying to hide how sick I was, was actually a safety issue and prevented me from getting the help that I so desperately needed.
A few months ago, I finally got a diagnosis that has been three years in the making: Chiari malformation. The perpetual migraine, syncope, and the feeling that my brain is falling down, are indeed because my brain is actually falling down! I should be able to finally get rid of Lyme disease for good after my body heals post-surgery.
The loss of autonomy and inability to reach normal milestones for my age weighs on me daily. However, I now live in the truth that I didn’t ten years ago. Even when the healthcare system and my own body fail me, my life is still worth living, and God didn’t make a mistake by creating me!”
Stories reflect the experiences and perspectives of the individuals featured and are not intended as medical advice.
